My Thought Bubbles

It is the 12th of November 2008, and I have been nicotine-free since the 1st of January 2008. Phew~ Quite an achievement I’d say, quite an achievement. So, how DID I do it? How do I quit? Simple, really. You know how when we thought of doing something, or achieving something, then we get really lazy and starts delaying the work and eventually end up not doing anything? Well that’s how I quit smoking. In the beginning, each time there’s an urge to smoke, I just say to myself, “Maybe later” and pretty soon enough, the urge, same as every other things that I love to delay, will end up not being done. Heh… If you are trying to quit, maybe you should give this a try. But if you really want to quit, you should do it now, because if you delay it, saying to yourself “Maybe later” then maybe THAT will never be achieved as well. It’s a double-edged sword I guess.

Well, that was my motivation to quit smoking. As a de-motivator, I would like to share this quote from the movie “Sin City”. The character ‘Dwight’ is no longer a smoker, but since he committed multiple murders that night, and the police is on his tail, he is feeling tensed, and that is when the urge to smoke comes knocking, to which ‘Jackie-Boy’ said to him:

“Nobody ever really quits. A smoker’s a smoker when the chips are down. And your chips are down.”

What ‘Jackie-Boy’ meant to say is that a smoker will never quit. They can only PAUSE it, pretending to quit, but actually when the going gets really bad, when he is under tremendous pressure, that smoker will certainly light his cigarette and become a smoker again. Interesting, neh~? Let’s see how I will prove him wrong. (^_^)

The other day my friend was out of cigarettes, so he went to a nearby grocery shop to get his dose. The shop was not at all crowded; excluding my friend, there was this old lady, and a few kids deciding on which ice-creams they should buy. Owh, the shop owner is an old apek (old Chinese man). Being the only chap in that shop at that particular time, we could assume that my friend here is THE alpha male.

My friend went to the counter to get his cigarettes, when all of a sudden, 3 hostile parang-wielding guys entered the shop. (parang = long knife)

“Nobody panic, nobody move! This is a robbery!” The robbers wore pantyhose as masks. Robber 1 guarded the door, making sure nobody tries to run outside, while Robber 2 instructed all customers to gather at one spot, and Robber 3 went to the counter, put his parang at the apek’s neck, and instructed him to put all the money from the cash register into his bag. “Hurry up!” the robber yelled again.

My friend, the old lady, and the 3 kids just stood there, witnessing everything. After they got the money, the 3 robbers fled the scene. It was over in just about 5 minutes.

After the robbery, business runs like normal again. As for the shop owner, I think he’s got nothing to be miserable about as the insurance company will surely compensate his stolen money, and hey, he could even get more than the money that was robbed!

I personally think it is a good thing that my friend did not try to act as a heroic alpha male at that scene. If he tries anything, the robber might get infuriated, and in desperation, people might get hurt. Apart from the parangs and the verbal hostility, I think everything else went well and in a peaceful manner. No one was injured, and right after the robber fled the shop, my friend bought his pack of Winston 20’s and went home, smoking his life away… :p

NOTE TO SELF: Cigarettes could put you in a dangerous situation!

Something i dug up from some pile of junks,
it’s a poem from my high school yearbook or sumpthin’
can’t really remember… But the words are beautiful…

” Ia mengejar kecemerlangan tanpa lupa daratan
berpewatakan hebat bersopan

setinggi mana kejayaan ditempa
balik mencium tangan ibu bapa

di barisan hadapan sebagai pembela
ilmu di dada menabur jasa

semakin memuncak cita-cita
semakin tunduk pada yang Esa…”

have always loved big and enormous animals. As a kid I remembered having lots of books about dinosaurs, and I also used to remember all of their names. The vicious T-Rex hunts alone, the smart Velociraptors hunt in tactical groups, Iguanodon is the first dinosaur with opposable thumbs. Can’t seem to memorize it all now, heh. My obsession with giant animals doesn’t just stop there, I also tuned to Ultraman every Saturday morning religiously, and deep in my heart I have always hoped that someday the giant monsters will somehow defeat the ludicrous ultramaniacs. I loved the monsters. And Ultraman is so lame, defeating every foe with the same goddamn tactics in each episode. Clearly the producers are underestimating the monsters. I’m sure they’re purposely letting the good guys win to show good example to little kids, that good will always triumph over evil, but in a way, it felt like they are lying. I mean life can be rough sometimes, and it’s not like the good guy always wins you know.

When I was 10, there’s this “Dinosaurs Alive” exhibition in JB where they feature hydraulic life-size dinosaur robots. They even carefully covered it with realistic skin, and everything looked so real. Boy it sure as hell makes me excited! My parents gladly took the whole family to the exhibition, knowing how much we would love it. Dinosaurs are roaring everywhere, with gigantic-movements and realistic sounds. As exhilarating as it was, I knew they were all fake, but enjoyable nonetheless. I’ve heard stories about real fossils excavated and displayed in museums, but of course none of it was in Malaysia. Mostly it was on display in the American museums. It seemed impossible for me to go and watch the fossils myself, but deep inside, I prayed that one day I will get to see the real remains of the dinosaurs, once rulers of the Earth.

That was then. But now, the obsession slowly fades away with age. When you get older, you have certain priorities, and slowly the things that were once so important to you, now seem so insignificant. Somehow along the way I have shaken off the obsession of giant animals. But when I was in London, my friend Chip mentioned something about the National History Museum, where they actually have real fossils of dinosaurs. Even though dinosaurs don’t amuse me much more than during previous years, I gladly went there to witness it myself, to fulfill the dream of the little child inside me. It was a wonderful day at the museum. =)

Winter looks so nice when you’re not actually there. I mean I used to look at photos of friends playing with snow and thought, wow, what a great experience! It’s like the place is covered with heaps of ais kacang! But when I actually manage to experience it here, it sure as hell ain’t that exciting. It’s crappy I tell you. Every morning the car will be covered with frost, and until I actually scrape every ice-bit off my car, I’d be driving in a fridge. And the cold weather makes the surroundings foggy, and it’s very hard to get vision to drive around. Luckily I haven’t hit anyone or anything with this rented car. It’ll be hell to pay if I as much as chip the paintjob. Also, the winter seasons have longer night time, which is very boring because everyday when I get out of office, it is already dark and shops are already closing. There’s nowhere else to go except go back to the hotel room to hibernate. Can you imagine? 5pm in the evening and it’s already like 9pm at night! There’s this one time I got out of office, and there’s already a full moon. What the hell? It can’t be good to be a werewolf at this time of the year. Mister Werewolf will be all happy and excited after getting off from work, and when he steps out of the office, suddenly there’s the full moon and he will be transformed into a wolf in his nice shirt and nice pants complete with his briefcase and laptop in his hands. That can’t be good.

Oh yeah, recently I get a lot of comments saying that I put up some weight, so I’m blaming the winter season. That’s right, the cold weather is forcing my body to trigger a mechanism to keep myself warm, and that’s what you people actually call ‘fat’ in me. It’s a natural thing, so stop accusing.

By the way, after 2 months quitting, I started smoking again. Damn. After 77 days of healthy air without the cancer stick, I finally cave in. They say each cigarette is another nail to your coffin, but what the hell, who wants to die healthy anyways? So I was in my hotel room after dinner, laying on a very questionable bedspread, enjoying my smoke delightfully when all of a sudden I realized something. I have always smoked by resting the cigarette on the left side of my lips, and as I wanted to try something new, I put it on my right lips. Man, it feels weird. Surprisingly, I also cannot exhale the smoke through my right, as I usually do so on the other corners. Hehehe… Hell, just when you thought there’s nothing more to life, you start experiencing new stuffs. :p I’m starting to sound creepy, so I guess that’s enough for now. Tschüss…